Rest in Peace: Lessons from the Departed
It was a tough fall. I lost at least 6 family members & clients since mid-2019 – and I’ve received two more phone calls in the last couple of weeks. Some were old (93, 89, 88) and had really great lives, were well loved, gave a lot to their communities and were ready to go. Some were in the prime of life (not even 50), productive folks whose loss shocked their loved ones. One family in my acquaintance lost their 18 year-old son. Some were clients for decades. All of them I will miss.
And there are lessons here for all of us. It can happen any time. Your religious leaders may ask if you’re right with your guiding spirit. My more mundane question is, are your loved ones protected from the vagaries of the law? And how about you, if something short of that final end occurs?
Do you have a will? If not, the state has one for you. It may not reflect your wishes and may take a long time to settle. Should your 70- 80+ year-old parents be inheriting from you? Should they, deep in grief, be required to settle your affairs? Are they even up to it?
Who will be guardian of your minor child(ren)? Will that person be managing the assets you leave, or will someone else? Have you chosen those people, or will a judge do that?
Are your retirement account & life insurance beneficiaries up-to-date? Or should your ex-spouse receive your 401(k)? Or should your nephew, the child of a sibling who died before your children were born, get the life insurance payout?
If you’re severely injured or ill and incapable of making your own medical decisions, does someone trustworthy and who understands your wishes hold a Healthcare Proxy? Do they have guidance in a Living Will? Is there a HIPAA waiver on file to release the information they’ll need? Or will your doctors have to determine “next of kin” and ask them for guidance? Could it be the brother you haven’t seen in decades?
Or if you’re ill or failing (dementia creeps up), will someone be able to manage your care, pay your bills, sign documents for you? If not, you need a Power of Attorney – your spouse, and even then, a successor for them.
Do you need a trust to protect your assets, or those that pass to your children? (Trusts really aren’t about estate tax anymore for almost anybody.)
Do those who will be caring for you know your wishes about medical care when dementia has taken your ability to decide?
Will the responsible parties (your spouse, children, friend) have access all your financial information and records?
How about your “digital assets” – your electronic documents, social media accounts, your online logins, your cryptocurrency?
If you are the responsible person (for your parents, siblings or friends), do you have this information and these documents for your loved ones?
Have you had these conversations with your aging parents?
Please call & let’s talk. Jim & I have attorney referrals, some documents and recordkeeping systems to help. Or refer to the useful information on my website under Planning & Life Issues and LifeGoesOn RoadmapTM.